Those of you who know me at all, know of my love of reading instructions – only for a laugh – never to actually, you know, assemble anything.
I also read a lot of things that I really could take a pass on (“but, if someone went to the trouble to write and publish something…”). Here are three things that have drawn my attention during the past week.
1. The first one is not so much instructions as just a curiosity. Why do packages of men’s briefs have a reusable ziplock top? Do you only take them out as you use them and want to keep the others fresh? I didn’t see an expiration date. I have heard legends about men and their underwear and none of them have involved the concern for their “freshness”. I am waiting to be enlightened – perhaps Hanes can help me out.
2. Target up&up lunch bags. I read the packaging and thought that this could also describe me in a strange way. “Giant Size, Self-standing, Flat Bottom, Easy to Open, Packed with love.” I think someone went to way too much effort in the copywriting department, but I guess the graphics department was out having Tazo tea.
3. My third entry is the box for some Tazo Green Tea. I was sold at, “This bright green tea blend has a kick from ginger and a sweet note of pear.” I did not realize that this was no ordinary tea. Drinking this tea would send me on “a journey that spans continents and centuries…Each cup is a story, unfolding with every sip.”
This is not tea that I should drink while still in my bathrobe – I should get dressed and have my suitcase packed before I toss that teabag into the steamy pool of clear filtered water in my mug made from the sacred clay brought down the mountains by royal llamas.
Or at least have fresh underwear.